Stop wasting time worrying and become more efficient and productive.
GALVENIE POINTl
- Some people think that if they have enough control over other people and situations, they can prevent bad outcomes.
- Worrying too much keeps people busy, but ultimately wastes time and energy.
- Instead of worrying about the things you can't change, focus on the things you can influence.
There is a brutal truth in life that some people refuse to accept: you have no control over many events in your life.
Some who resist this truth become control freaks. They micromanage, refuse to delegate tasks and try to force others to change. They think: if they can just get enough control over others and situations, they will be able to prevent bad things from happening.
Others understand that they cannot prevent bad things from happening, but worry about them anyway. They worry about everything from natural disasters to deadly diseases. These worries keep them busy, but in reality they only waste time and energy, because worrying does no good.
If you catch yourself wasting time worrying about things you can't control, here are six things that can help:
1. Define what you can control.
When you catch yourself worrying, take a moment to reflect on what is within your control. You can't prevent the storm, but you can prepare for it. You can't control how others act, but you can control your reaction.
Recognise that sometimes the only thing you can control is your own effort and attitude. When you focus your energy on what you can control, you become more effective.
2. Focus on your impact.
You can influence people and circumstances, but you can't force events to follow your script. For example, you can give a child the tools to get good grades, but you can't force them to get the perfect average. You can organise a good party, but you cannot force people to have fun.
To have the biggest impact, focus on your actions. Be a good role model and set healthy boundaries. If you are concerned about someone else's choices, speak up, but only once. Don't try to correct those who don't want to change.
3. Identify your fears.
Ask yourself: what am I really afraid of? Do I foresee a catastrophic outcome? Do I doubt my ability to cope with disappointment? Often the worst-case scenario is not as tragic as it seems. There is a good chance that you are stronger than you think.
Sometimes people are so preoccupied with “I can't let my business fail” that they don't even ask “What would I do if my business did fail?” Knowing that you can deal with the worst-case scenario allows you to channel your energy into more productive things.
4. Distinguish between overthinking and problem solving.
Playing conversations in your head or imagining catastrophic outcomes over and over does not help. But solving problems does.
Ask yourself: are my thoughts productive right now? If you are actively looking for ways to increase your chances of success, keep working on your ideas.
If you're just going around the same thoughts, switch the “channel” in your brain. Recognise that these thoughts are not useful, get up and do something else for a few minutes to shift your focus to more productive things.
5. Establish a stress management plan.
Exercise, a healthy diet and enough sleep are just some of the important factors that help you take care of yourself. You also need to take time to manage stress so that you can function more effectively.
Find healthy ways to relieve stress - meditation, an exciting hobby or time with friends. Pay attention to your stress levels and how you cope with them. Let go of unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as excessive self-pity or drinking.
6. Develop healthy affirmations.
I have two phrases that I use to remind myself to take action or to calm down. The first is: “Make it possible.” When I catch myself saying, “I hope I succeed today,” I remind myself, “Make it possible.” It reminds me that I am in control of my actions.
But when I think about something I have no control over, like “I hope it doesn't rain on Saturday”, I say to myself: “I'll manage.” These short phrases keep me from wasting time on things that are out of my control. I will either do my best to make it happen, or I will deal with what is out of my control.
Make a few healthy mantras or affirmations to help you stay mentally strong. These sayings will help you fight doubt, catastrophic assumptions and endless wondering.
To learn how to change, join the IDARTO Centre for “Skills for Change” or psychological techniques for the video library “Psychologist in your pocket”.
Source: Morin A. (2017, May 9) “How to Stop Worrying About Things You Can't Change”. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201705/how-to-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-change