Everyone has had a difficult situation in their life, where they feel strong emotions, anxiety and a sense of things “slipping out of control”. At times like these, it is important to find a way to help yourself regain your inner balance.
To help people in these situations, IDARTO Centre - psycho-emotional support for people diagnosed with oncology and their relatives - offers simple and practical self-help techniques - four steps to restructuring your thoughts. This method can be used in any life crisis, when strong emotions or external events seem too difficult to handle.
Four steps for clearer thinking and more peace
1. Acknowledge what is out of your control.
The first step is to ask yourself: “What is beyond my control in this situation?” Recognising that certain things - such as other people's behaviour, the course of illness or external circumstances - are not directly changeable helps to reduce inner resistance and accept reality more calmly.
2 Focus on what you can influence.
It's worth asking a question afterwards: “What is it that I can focus on to move forward?” It can be maintaining a daily routine, healthy habits, communication or simply looking after your wellbeing. This approach helps to regain a sense of empowerment to take action and move forward step by step.
3. Remember your strengths.
The third step is to remind yourself: “What am I good at? What are my inner resources?” The capacities that have helped overcome difficulties in the past are still available in this crisis. They can be skills, knowledge, personal values or a support network.
4. Use a positive perspective.
Finally, it is worth asking yourself: “How can my strengths help me choose the right direction in this situation?” It allows you to see the way out and not get stuck in helplessness.
Why does this method help?
“Getting the mind in order” through structured questions creates the opportunity to reduce stress levels and make better use of existing resources (Beck, 2011). A person who is able to consciously distinguish between uncontrollable and controllable factors experiences less anxiety and more courage to make decisions.
Moreover, by practising these four steps regularly, they become an automatic internal support mechanism to help you act quickly and effectively in the future.
How to get started?
To get started, download the free worksheet and try out the restructuring technique in practice. All you need to do is download it, take a few minutes to think about it and fill it in.
Remember! Even when the world seems out of control, there is always the opportunity to put your inner world in order and strengthen your ability to continue living skillfully.
You can learn this practice in depth by joining the IDARTO Centre for “Skills for Change” or psychological techniques for the video library “Psychologist in your pocket”.